it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
