Why are handjobs necessary in class?
we made out on top of his cat.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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