you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
