He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
