I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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