White coat. Heels.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
