An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
