Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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