My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
