White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
