Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
