So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
