quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
