i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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