first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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