You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
