i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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