Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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