Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
