There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If I die, sorry about rent.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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