smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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