He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
