he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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