I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
