so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So here I am, sexting at work.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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