Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
