Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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