i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
