Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
