so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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