I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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