Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
