Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
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