I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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