Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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