I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
