5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I will pee on everything he values.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
