I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize