"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
