You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
