Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
