So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
