so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
