the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize