some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
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