Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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