Grow some girl-balls and come out already
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
