Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
