my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
