I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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