it's not cheating when I paid for it
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
