Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize