It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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