I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
