Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
