hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Did I show you my penis last night?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
