my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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