Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
