Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
