the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
