on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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