He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
