found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
