Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
